As I sat in my bed this morning and spent time with the Lord, a song began to play and immediately I was taken back to a time in my life and a moment in my relationship with the Lord. Do you ever do that? Do you ever hear a song and are immediately transported to a moment? There's so many songs that when I hear them, if I close my eyes it's like I'm in a different place and time. Usually rather significant places and times.
This morning I closed my eyes and listened to Rita Springer sing "You Are Still Holy" and all of a sudden it was like I was sitting on the floor of my room in my first apartment in South Africa in 2007. It was warm outside, my windows were open, the curtains were moving a bit in the breeze, and as Rita sang I soaked in the presence of God. In a nearly tangible presence of the Lord.
As I sat and let the memory continue playing in my mind this morning, I then began to think of other moments in my life that I felt like the Lord was almost tangibly present with me. As I sat and tears began to form, I let memory after memory play through my mind of the those kinds of times.
The times I walked from my apartment to the church office in Pietermaritzburg. The same stretch of sidewalk I took nearly every single day for two years. I can picture it so clearly with the jacaranda trees overhead and the uneven cracked sidewalk underneath. And all the times when I walked that sidewalk feeling alone in my world, only for the Lord to nearly physically walk beside me to let me know that no matter where I was, He was there.
The memories played of me sitting awake in the middle of the night in Durbanville just days after I moved back to South Africa. Awake from jet lag and having tear filled hard conversations with the Lord about my life. And yet again He showed up. With a presence I felt like I could almost touch.
I can't remember exactly which way around the world I was flying, where I was going or where I had been, but I can picture a window seat on a dark quiet plane. Just me and more tears and a journal. And the Lord. The sweet sweet presence of the Lord.
As I let the memories play through my mind this morning I was moved to tears at the graciousness of the Lord in my life. The way He has always met me when I needed it. The times that He came even closer when I needed even more. The way He's always been present and forever will be. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for the way He walks with me. And my soul longs for more of it all.
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