Home is where the __________ is .........

My entire life I have heard the saying that "home is where the heart is."  As we grow and move and explore and travel we can find home in many places.  I feel that I have now established "home" on two continents and in multiple cities.  Having "home" in many different places is a beautiful blessing but not always an easy thing.

I've been back in South Africa for nearly two weeks now.  New city.  New church.  New job.  New people.  Eventually new "home".  I knew that coming back this side of the ocean would mean yet another whirlwind of emotions and feelings.  I anticipated tears and hard moments as I left the "homes" that I had in America.  I sat on airplanes and in airports around the world and let the tears flow as I questioned my life decisions.  I sat on a plane and poured out my tears and heartaches to God.  As I landed in Cape Town and started to settle in over the next few days I found myself daily in the struggle of emotions and feelings and thoughts of where "home" really was (and what the heck did I just do?!?).

There's two things that I have come to realize and embrace during this excessive overflow of emotions, thoughts, and feelings.  The first thing I came to realize is that my emotions and feelings are not always to be fully trusted.  Don't get me wrong, I think emotions are a vital part of our lives and need to be felt and acknowledged and expressed.  However I also think we should not give emotions as much weight in our lives as we sometimes do.  Each day in my new "home" I was hit with alternating waves of "this is only two years and I will move back to America" and "I could really see myself here much longer than two years".  I felt so wearied.  The back and forth of such feelings and emotions was draining.  (And of course my planning and organized self wants to sort out the future already, even as I am barely stepping in to the present)  I came to the realization late one night, that I was giving my emotions and feelings more weight and representation in my heart and mind in this moment in time than is necessary.  I need to acknowledge those feelings and then keep trucking.

The other thing that I am embracing during this time is something that the Lord revealed to me during worship the other morning.  I was standing and praising God for all that He is and singing about how my soul is fulfilled in Him alone.  And in that moment a flood of feelings that I could stay here forever hit me.  And for a moment I began to let myself think down that road.  And then the Lord began to remind me that His presence is home.  You see it doesn't matter what continent I am on or what city I am in or what feelings I am having.  Home is where the Lord is.  Plain and simple.  I was created by Him and for Him.  This world is not my home.  I am in it but not of it.  And yes indeed we establish "homes" in this world and lifetime, but ultimately our only true resting and dwelling place is meant to be with the Lord.  So yes I could live here forever because the Lord is here.  But then the same is true of anywhere in the world.  As long as I am with the Lord and following Him and pursuing His presence, I am home.  He is all that I need.  In Him I live and move and have my being. He is more than enough and in Him my soul is fulfilled and finds rest.

Home is where the Lord is.