Amazed as usual

Last night I spoke at our weekly meeting here at Chi Alpha. It's summertime which means it's a little more laid back and smaller. But still there were around 70 people and it was good.

I was kind of nervous about my message before I started. I had what I felt really was something God gave me, but yet I wondered if it would be relevant or even apply to anyone. But I stuck with it and took the stage.

During worship I was praying and just telling God that I was His. This was His message and I was just the messenger, the mouthpiece as I like to call it. I know He has given me a talent and thus I want to pour out all that I am in that area each opportunity that I get.

It seemed like it was going to be a rough crowd for a while. And honestly for most of it I really wasn't feeling like the audience was really tracking with me. But I went on and things flowed and the Holy Spirit prompted me at different times and in different ways. And when I came to the response time, it may have been the biggest response I've ever had from a message. I was amazed as usual.

I know that I can speak well. I know God has given me talent. So even if I left God behind and got up and delivered the most fluently spoken sermon ever, I still lack one thing: the ability to touch hearts and move people. And not saying that people's responses are how to gauge if it was God or not. But still I get to the end and know that I can't do that. I can't make people respond. That's all God.

It also floored me that there were that many people who responded to what I talked about. I talked about anxiety and worry. I shared how anxiety had been a part of my life since elementary school. And I thought there might be a few respond, but it was way more than I thought. Apparently God knew what needed to be said to those who were there last night. I was just the lucky one who got to stand on stage and be the mouthpiece of God. It never ceases to humble and amaze me.

Until then......